Pressure and Peace

It is easy to become overwhelmed by the pressures that surround us in this world. I know I have written about this many times, and that is because the pressures just don't seem to go away...

The recent transition I have been going through has not been one without its pressures. Pressure to know exactly that my future holds, which career I will go into, where I will go to grad school, or will I even go to grad school? There is also a pressure surrounding what I do now, and a feeling like being a nanny right out of college is somewhat "unacceptable", because I should be doing "bigger and better" things at this point in my life. In reality though, these pressures are just the worst. Not fun for someone with anxiety, not fun for someone who has no idea what they really want to do with their life, and not fun for someone who doesn't have the answers to the questions everyone wants to know the answers to-- what the heck are you going to do with your life?

Recently, I walked the bridge with a friend who helped me put into words what I know in my heart to be true. The truth is, I will probably change careers many times in my life. I may not ever directly use what I got my college degree in. God is going to call me to many different things in my life, and the one 'calling' that remains through all of these different seasons in my life is to follow the Lord wholeheartedly and unashamedly. This is my one true calling, wherever I am and whatever I am doing.

My friend asked me questions like: in the past few months, what has brought you the most joy? What do you feel like your gifts and talents are? I was surprised by how hard some of these questions were to answer out loud, even though I knew the answers in my heart. From this conversation came a new sense of direction for my life in my current circumstances. What came forth was a sort of "mission statement". And yes, this mission statement will change in different times in my life. But for now, it is something I have to hold on to and to reference when I feel like I am lost with no sense of direction.

I challenge any of you reading to do an exercise like this, because it will change your heart, your thoughts, and ultimately your daily life. It will bring focus and peace. At least that is what it did for me.

I also wanted to share a bible verse that came to mind while I was writing this post. When we become overwhelmed by the pressures of this world, we can hold on to the fact that Christ has overcome the world. No ifs, ands, or buts!!

John 16:33

"I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. Buttake heart; I have overcome the world.”

English Standard Version (ESV)

Lessons Learned

Lately I have been pondering what I want in life. Where I find happiness. Where I let the world confuse me.

I've learned a few things lately that are small (yet monumental for me):

     -It is okay to be an introvert.

     -I need a good dose of "alone time" every week.

     -It is okay to prefer watching Hallmark with your grandma on a Friday night.

     -There is an unrealistic (in my opinion) idea or expectation of what Christian community is supposed to look like for our generation. So don't get disappointed when the friendships you have don't look the same as the friendships or "friend groups" of others.

     -I can be happy when I am sitting still.

     -Waiting is not the same thing as sitting stagnant. God can't steer me in a direction if I am anchored. I can and need to be waiting and moving forward at the same time.

     -Sometimes God says "no" to things, and that doesn't mean He will say "yes" to something else in its place. Sometimes He just says "no." BUT, He does always have something else better in mind.

-There is a need for love everywhere. It doesn’t matter where you are or who you are with, love God and others in that place. Don’t listen to what anyone else has to say about that. Don’t listen to the “why do you have to go to that country, there are hurting people here.” WHEREVER you are, love and share what God has given you with those around you. Your neighbors aren’t just those who live near you geographically. They are your brothers and sisters all over the world, in every country, in every village, in every house, in every school. Let God send you. Whether it’s into your backyard or across the world. 

-I feel fulfilled when I am using my talents. Not to show others how great they are, but to show God how great He is. He has given us all talents, and it is glorifying to Him to use them. 

Recently graduating from college, I am in a transition phase, and transition can be awkward. But transition is also a time when we can learn much about ourselves. We just need to open our eyes and open our hearts.

Fashioned into Gold

I made a friend this year who makes me think really hard. She asks me the difficult questions, reads into my emotions and thoughts, and makes me face things I would normally avoid. This is the type of friend that is hard to have (in the best way possible...), but also the type of friend you wouldn't want to live without.

This friend helped me get through some of the toughest months of my life to date. There were days I made poor decisions. There were days I decided I wanted nothing to do with God. There were days I flat-out decided I was not going to be a Christian anymore. She didn't judge me once. She sat in the silence and hurt with me. She encouraged me. She continued to love me.

This friend and I read Job. I declared that this would mark a new time for me. It marked the starting afresh of my relationship with the Lord. It marked my pursuit after the Lord's heart and his desires for me, and his pursuit after my heart. I learned a lot in this book. Not only that Job was righteous, or that Job went through a lot of hard things, or that Job lost everything, or that he still loved and remained righteous through the hardship. What I really learned is that Job was still human. And humans are not perfect.

Job questioned God. He went through times when all of his friends were against him. He went through times when he had no one to walk with him or encourage him. He doubted, as many (most) of us do. He became frustrated. He lacked understanding of God's purpose for the trials and the pain he endured. He begged to make his case before God, and to prove that he was righteous.

Here's the thing though: Job didn't need to prove anything. God knew he was righteous. God knew the depths of Job's heart. God marked every step in Job's path since before he was born. There was nothing Job could earn from God. Just like you and just like me. God knows my pain. He also knows my potential for indescribable joy. God knows my heartaches, but he also knows the capacity of my heart to love and to feel. God knows that when my life is in a mess, I get frustrated, I get angry, I question, I doubt, I even make some bad decisions. But God also redeems. He redeems all of the disappointments. All of the frustrations. All of the doubts. There is nothing more, or nothing less that I could do to make God love me any differently. And while I constantly fail him, he NEVER fails me. It may seem like he lets my world fall apart into a tornado aftermath without the rainbow after the storm. That's because He does, except there is always a rainbow after His storms. We have to go through fire sometimes, before we are fashioned into gold. God has purposes, and they are always good ones.

Happy Heart