"In those days I, Daniel, was mourning for three weeks. I ate no delicacies, no meat or wine entered my mouth, nor did I anoint myself at all, for the full three weeks."
Some things in life are hard. Everyone knows that. For me, there have been many struggles in the past few months, but right now, one of them is giving me a run for my money- fasting. For Lent, a friend and I decided to fast, and we chose the fast that Daniel did. As you read in the verse above, Daniel ate no delicacies (sweets/desserts), and no meat. [No wine either, but if you know me at all, I really don't have to worry about that one so much. ha]. As christians, we typically give up something that we think will be hard for us to live without for forty days. It brings on a great challenge that we get to fight to overcome, where, if we win the battle, we will feel accomplished and proud of ourselves- like not eating chocolate or using facebook. Seems impossible, right?! Or, we may also try to add something to our day to day life for forty days that will most likely benefit our selfish bodies and better us personally- like exercising every day or starting a diet. Now don't get me wrong, these are all great things, if we somehow tie in the glory of God.
This has been one of the most challenging parts of my fast so far. How do I tie in God? How do I avoid becoming self righteous and developing pride. I have enough self righteousness and pride I need to break down without adding this to the list. Well, so far this fast has been one of the hardest things I have ever done. You would think it was because of not eating meat, but it's the not eating sweets or drinking sodas that is really killing me! Who knew I would be sitting in my room holding a Reese's in my hand for 10 minutes almost in tears because I wanted to eat it so badly. That's pathetic, I know. But it's the honest truth. Its been hard, really hard.
Now that I have talked about how hard it has been, let me tell you how unbelievably rewarding it has been. For starters, I never knew I even liked half of the foods I have been forced to eat to replace what I've taken out of my diet. I have found myself just naturally reading my Bible a couple of times a day when ever I have free time. Okay I confess, I didn't read my Bible nearly enough before, but it's an improvement! I find myself praying more often too. It's more like I'm just talking to God actually. And you know, I really didn't know how cool it was. Like what is better than sitting and talking to your Father, the one who has unconditional love for you, the one you can tell anything to and he will never love you any more or any less? I think it's one of the greatest gifts he has given me. I have had lots of time to read. I will admit, I have about 6 books right now where I have read the first 30 pages of each of them. But now I am working on each one, one at a time, and man has the Lord been blessing me with the words of these books!
I am not by any means saying that this has been easy, that my pride is gone, or that my prayer life and relationship with God are in tip-top shape. But I will say, I can really feel God working. I can hear him and see him all around me. And I long to have him inside of me. My prayer is that he will put a hunger in me that is for him, one that will replace my hunger for the things of this world- including meats and sweets.
The part about tying it in to God reminds me of something I've been working through lately. It comes from the early verses of Luke 12 (not entirely sure where). But its all about finding your identity in Christ and not putting so much value in your possessions. Which sounds like a great thing to do, but when you think about how to put it into practice, it becomes a little more difficult. I guess I just feel like the question is the same in your fast and in my reading of Luke 12 which is "How do I find and show God in myself for the glory of God and not for my own reasons or what I have or don't have?"
ReplyDeleteI hope your fast goes well. Praying for you! =]
-Kitch