... I just need to cry. Ladies- most of you know exactly what I am talking about! Today was one of those days where everything was going great. I woke up before my alarm, I went to all of my classes, I did better on my Economics test than I expected (which is a miracle in itself), I laid out by the pool for a while, read 3/4 of a book, and went for a walk with my mom. The walk. This was when it all went spiraling downhill. I don't know about you, but my mom and I are pretty tight. She knows what's going down and is quite a wise woman! I am very thankful for that. Anyways, our walk starts out normal, talking about Diesel (our dog), my brother's graduation, and then we get to my final exams. I am not so stressed about the exams as I am about the two years to come ahead of me. My last two years of college (maybe...). That is one stressful topic if you ask me! I recently decided to change my major and we were discussing this as we walked. I eventually got myself all freaked out that I will do all this tough schooling for this tough major and then not even use it. That I won't get a job that uses the major that I worked so hard to get. Then my mind went to not getting a job at all. After I rambled all my concerns to my mom, I thought I could feel her getting a little frustrated with me for getting so anxious about all of this right now. You know, when mom's use that tone and you just feel like they are annoyed? Yup, that's the tone I was getting. As the people-pleaser that I am, I can't stand when people are upset (or annoyed) with me. After I have held it together for the most part throughout our entire walk, we barely make it in the door (thank goodness we do) before I begin my serious meltdown. This included some feet stomping and a slight childish tantrum. To make the story short, my mom calmed me down like mothers do best, and assured me that she is not disappointed in me or frustrated with me. That we need to live for today and not worry so much about the future. Thanks mom!
After this, eyes all puffy and not feeling all that up to it, I headed off to youth group. We played some really intense ping pong baseball which I loved, and worshipped for the last 20 minutes. Do you ever have those days when things just fall apart, and then God is like "what's the matter with you, you're forgetting about something that can fix this all- ME." Today was that day. Things fell apart, I worried and stressed about something belonging this world, and God wrapped his arms around me and told me He was not disappointed in me and said 'I work ALL things together for your good. When pain come in the night, joy comes in the morning. And when the oceans rage, you don't have to be afraid, because you know that I love you, my love NEVER fails.' Thanks Jesus!
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